The Misunderstood Grief of a Person Whose Spouse Died by Suicide

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So I think the question here is, Do you want to still be involved in her life, and can you do that with the understanding you have now of what she did i. You can't be perfectly rational.

And then it will be the third. Grieving is very hard work, and you ought not to be trying to do it all by yourself—especially when you are coping with a death by suicide. I rushed to his place when i got that last message. It will be very hard for me to trust someone else because he always told me that he loved me.

My wife committed suicide yesterday : depression

In this Article: Your spouse, child, parent, friend, or another person close to you has recently committed suicide. The loss of a loved one by any means can be devastating. Knowing that your loved one chose to take his or her own life can add a whole new set of challenges. Passing time may help you fully grieve and adapt to the loss. In the meantime, you can learn skills to help you understand your emotions and care for yourself during this tragic period. Know that feeling confused is normal. Confusion is another emotion typically experienced by those who lose a loved one to suicide. You and others might constantly ask why this happened or why your loved one didn't show any signs. Trying to piece together the last weeks, days, or hours of your loved ones life may help you understand better. However, you must accept that, with suicide, there will always be some unanswered questions. Brace yourself for anger, guilt and blame. You may notice yourself feeling angry about the suicide. Your angry feelings may be guilt directed at yourself for not seeing any signs that your loved one was hurting. You may also be direct responsibility at God, at other family members, at mental health professionals for not doing enough, or at your loved one for not reaching out to you and asking for your help. Blame may help you try to cope with the loss by assigning responsibility, when you are truly upset by the idea that your life and the lives of your loved ones are not in your control. Face your feelings of rejection or perceived abandonment. When your loved one commits suicide you may think of yourself as not being good enough. You figure if your relationship with this person were enough then he may not have chosen to take his life. You are upset that he left you behind to deal with this devastating pain on your own. But, remember, suicide is a very complex ordeal to the victim and those left behind. Know that this choice was your loved one's decision because he couldn't cope with his life or certain circumstances--it's not a reflection of you. After you learn that your loved one committed suicide you may withdraw from friends and family members. Others may cause a stronger emotional reaction of guilt or blame. Remember that these people may be just as upset by the death as you. Rather than isolating yourself spend more time with those who also loved this person. Doing so may offer you comfort. As you congregate together and try to comfort one another, take the time to recall the good days you had with the deceased person. When your wife commits suicide on the hows and whys of the suicide while understandable won't lead to peace. You may choose to remember her that way. As soon as you feel able, try to return to your usual routine. Doing this will be very hard at first. Even getting dressed or cleaning your home might be painstaking activities. No, things will never be normal again, but when your wife commits suicide your routine again may help you gain a sense of purpose and structure. When you are mourning a loved one's death, it can be easy to forget meals. Taking care of yourself is probably the last thing on your mind. However, eating a few balanced meals each day will give you the strength to persevere through this ordeal. Exercising - even if it is only when your wife commits suicide your dog around the block - can help reduce the sadness or anxiety you feel and improve your mood. All the upsetting thoughts and feelings associated with your loved one's suicide can cause you to feel sad, anxious, or even depressed. Doing activities that help you relax may ease these feelings and reinvigorate you. Don't feel bad about having fun. Attending social events can be a form of distraction from your grieving, and to remind you that, no matter how rough things are right now, life will get better. Instead, going out with friends, watching a funny movie, or dancing to favorite songs you shared with the deceased can be a great way to restore your ability to handle the grief. Seek professional help, if necessary. Suicide survivors frequently gain better understanding of what the deceased was going through by seeing a grief counselor. A counselor can explain confusing mental health issues that your loved one may have been battling. He or she can also help you process what you're feeling and develop healthy coping skills. Learn the stats associated with suicide. Educating yourself, your loved ones, and others around you can help you to make better sense of why your loved one chose to take his life. Each year in America, more than 40,000 people take their own lives. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, and the second leading cause for young people ages 10 to 24. Don't stay silent about your grief. Quite different from other causes of death, suicide often leaves survivors feeling isolated. The stigma built up around suicide makes survivors unlikely to talk about what they're going through with others, and you may even want to keep quiet about the details of the death to avoid when your wife commits suicide stigma. Be courageous and seek out others with whom you can share your story. Staying silent about this issue could prevent others from learning about the signs and possibly saving a life. Join a support group for those affected by suicide. Getting support from other survivors, people who are also dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide, can help you find comfort and overcome stigma. Check out a few local groups to see if you feel comfortable opening up and sharing your story. If you can't afford a counselor, borrow the money. Or call a local hospice or hospital and ask for the staff social worker or staff pastor at the hospital. When you get hold of one of them, tell them you urgently need a when your wife commits suicide therapy group because your crush committed suicide with no warning. You're in the worst situation any human can be in. In a grief group you'll definitely meet others to whom this very thing has happened. If your father feels he is losing the love of his family, show him love. Be kind, spend time with him, do things with him that he enjoys, and offer to help him out however you can e. Tell him this isn't the end of the world, that many people go through bad periods like this, and things will get better, he just has to work at it. Tell him that his life and well-being is important to you. Perhaps articles like and could be helpful to him. Call the police or the coroner in her county or city and find out if she is deceased. If she isn't, check with the hospital and her family. If you really cannot find out, and she has done this before, then all you can do is wait until she reveals herself, if she faked it. If she didn't fake it, there will be an obituary in the local newspaper so watch for that. Meanwhile, if you can get a counselor, do so. If not, find a local grief group. The worst thing any human being can experience is the suicide of a loved one. That's the evil of suicide: it only hurts the ones who loved the victim. It's normal to feel that way after going through a loss. Take care of yourself at this time -- find a way to release your feelings and surround yourself with good, supportive people. You can also find help in your community by googling support groups in your area. They are usually free and a great place to connect with other people who have been through a similar loss. While you shouldn't hide from your emotions by working or staying busy, remaining active can ward off depression and dark thoughts. It might also help to do this to get a fresh perspective that friends and family of the person who died cannot offer. Perhaps you did these things at one time and are now thinking of starting up again. A good starting place is with your doctor or your local community services which may have many programs to help you.

In the meantime, you can learn skills to help you understand your emotions and care for yourself during this tragic period. Her father gave 5 lac to me for the purchase and asked me to put my wife's name in the sale deed as well. You'll discover some ways to manage your grief, and you'll be helped to recognize that if others can survive this most devastating of losses, then you can do it, too. Encourage them to talk to a therapist or counselor, and help them find contact information for mental health services in your area. If you feel your resolve wavering, remember that no good will come out of staying in an unhealthy relationship. She agreed with me 100% that things would have been better for her had her mom respected her enough to tell the truth from the beginning. The chief responsibility of A Voice for Men is advocacy for men who have been trampled in precisely the ways outlined in this tragic note, and to do whatever is within our means to address the disproportionate suicide rate in men, especially as it relates to high conflict divorces. There are certain requirements to be fulfilled to establish defamation. Thank you for writing such beautiful words that are so true. He could have called a suicide hot line, but he didn't do any of this. It hurts more than anything I have ever experienced.